Wednesday, December 21, 2011

In Memory Of Kim Jong-Il: Dear Leader, G.O.A.T.

In Memory Of Kim Jong-Il: Dear Leader, G.O.A.T.Quite impressive. This great leader shot 38 on a 7,700 yard championship course. I'm glad if I shoot that for 9 holes!.He did have a nice boiler. That must have been his secret.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A BROWNS FAN'S AIRING OF GRIEVANCES




In honor of Festivus,it is time for the airing of grievances.








Other teams have cool logos on their helmets.....My team has nothing.




Other teams have colorful uniforms....My team generally plays in boring, all white uniforms.




I watch the Packers,Saints and the Patriots run exciting offenses.....My team plays for field goals,and has not scored a touchdown in the third quarter all year.




I watch teams like the Steelers,Ravens and Jets play an attacking style of defense......My team plays their cornerbacks 7 yards off the line of scrimmage and rarely blitzes.




Other teams have visible, dynamic owners like Robert Kraft, Jerry Jones and the Rooneys.My team's owner inherited the team, and has not been seen or heard from in 3 years.




I watch coaches like the Harbaugh brothers, Tomlin, Ryan and Peyton instill an attitude in their teams......My coach looks overwhelmed, and is either ultra conservative, or does not believe in his players, because he does not try to do anything. We have no attitude or identity.




My team has a President that tells us to be patient........I am tired of being patient.




I see quarterbacks like Big Ben, Brady, Rogers ,and Manning standing tall in the pocket, and throwing lasers all over the field. I see great leaders like Brees and Rivers inspiring their teams. I see the miracle of Tebow, the promise of Newton and Dalton. Our quarterback has heart, but is undersized, limited and cannot make all the throws necessary to threaten a defense.


My team stands mute after James Harrison blasts our undersized QB in the face.




Our wide receivers can't get separation, and lead the NFL in drops.Our star running back fumbles too much, and is injury prone. Playing in his contract year has overwhelmed him.....He is a head case, and will be gone next year.




So lets recap: We have a putrid offense, a soft defense, an eccentric owner, an overwhelmed rookie coach and a President that can't wait to get back to Seattle.We have no logo and bland uniforms. We have no identity, no attitude, and no clear plan.

My team is the Cleveland Browns.....And always will be. Go Browns!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Turkey Jones' Greatest Sack

Today, my lowly Cleveland Browns are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. We are going to get our asses kicked.....Again! I am posting this video in order to make myself feel better.Markie and Kevo, I will not be coming to the Royal 10 Cigar shop to watch this game with you. Does anybody have a blindfold and a cigarette?