FAMILY GUY - "All I Really Want For Christmas"

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

In Memory Of Kim Jong-Il: Dear Leader, G.O.A.T.

In Memory Of Kim Jong-Il: Dear Leader, G.O.A.T.Quite impressive. This great leader shot 38 on a 7,700 yard championship course. I'm glad if I shoot that for 9 holes!.He did have a nice boiler. That must have been his secret.

A BROWNS FAN'S AIRING OF GRIEVANCES

In honor of Festivus,it is time for the airing of grievances.

Other teams have cool logos on their helmets.....My team has nothing.

Other teams have colorful uniforms....My team generally plays in boring, all white uniforms.

I watch the Packers,Saints and the Patriots run exciting offenses.....My team plays for field goals,and has not scored a touchdown in the third quarter all year.

I watch teams like the Steelers,Ravens and Jets play an attacking style of defense......My team plays their cornerbacks 7 yards off the line of scrimmage and rarely blitzes.

Other teams have visible, dynamic owners like Robert Kraft, Jerry Jones and the Rooneys.My team's owner inherited the team, and has not been seen or heard from in 3 years.

I watch coaches like the Harbaugh brothers, Tomlin, Ryan and Peyton instill an attitude in their teams......My coach looks overwhelmed, and is either ultra conservative, or does not believe in his players, because he does not try to do anything. We have no attitude or identity.

My team has a President that tells us to be patient........I am tired of being patient.

I see quarterbacks like Big Ben, Brady, Rogers ,and Manning standing tall in the pocket, and throwing lasers all over the field. I see great leaders like Brees and Rivers inspiring their teams. I see the miracle of Tebow, the promise of Newton and Dalton. Our quarterback has heart, but is undersized, limited and cannot make all the throws necessary to threaten a defense.

My team stands mute after James Harrison blasts our undersized QB in the face.

Our wide receivers can't get separation, and lead the NFL in drops.Our star running back fumbles too much, and is injury prone. Playing in his contract year has overwhelmed him.....He is a head case, and will be gone next year.

So lets recap: We have a putrid offense, a soft defense, an eccentric owner, an overwhelmed rookie coach and a President that can't wait to get back to Seattle.We have no logo and bland uniforms. We have no identity, no attitude, and no clear plan.

My team is the Cleveland Browns.....And always will be. Go Browns!

Turkey Jones' Greatest Sack

Today, my lowly Cleveland Browns are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. We are going to get our asses kicked.....Again! I am posting this video in order to make myself feel better.Markie and Kevo, I will not be coming to the Royal 10 Cigar shop to watch this game with you. Does anybody have a blindfold and a cigarette?

Adam Carolla Rant About the Occupy Mentality.flv

This is pretty damn funny! I happen to agree with him.

Factory Of Sadness...................

This pretty much sums it up for us Browns fans. Our team is brutal to watch. We are totally irrelevant nationally. I will be watching Sunday. My NFL picks: Carolina -3, Houston -3.5,St Louis +3,Atlanta pk, Balt/Seattle U 41. Go Browns!

RIP Smokin Joe Frazier

Sorry to hear of the passing of "Smokin" Joe Frazier. Ali/Frazier I was one of the top sporting events in history. I admired the quiet dignity of Frazier, that was in stark contrast to the bombastic rantings of Ali. I remember how happy I was that Smokin Joe shut him up....At least for one night in 1971.RIP Champ.

NFL Picks

OK, We have taken a standing 8 count, wiped off the gloves, and are back for more. Last week we were 4-3 to bring our record to 6-6 overall. Here we go: St Louis +3, KC -4, San Diego +6, Houston -10.5, Philly -8, Seattlle/Dallas Under 44.5, ATL/Indy Over 44.

NFL Picks

Alright then, here are some NFL picks you can use to deliver a Tom Dempsey like kick to your book's sack : Dallas + 3.5 , San Francisco -9, New England -2.5, Baltimore -12.5 , Kansas City + 3.5, Cleveland/SF Under 38.5, Jax/Houston Under 40.5 . My current record is 2-3.

The best of Stu Feiner on the Sports Advisors TV show

It's time for some football picks! I can't even approach this level of intensity! This is priceless! My picks: Green Bay -9 Denver +1.5 Pittsburgh -3.5 Oakland -4.5 Baltimore -8 There is nothing better than fanning your balls with the man's money!

AT&T Unlimited Messaging 2011 Commercial

Hello again my boiler brothers. I have been away for a while,but this commercial has jolted me back to the blogisphere.This is a perfect example of the bullshit we are subjected to. What A Hole decided that this would make AT&T an attractive provider for cell/data service? I always have the same response when I see this: Fuck You!

Royal 10 Grand Opening

Please stop by and check out the Royal 10 Cigar Grand Opening July 29 & 30. 6401 Royalton Road, North Royalton, Ohio 44133. Hours are Friday 10-9, Saturday 10-8. Hope to see you there!Of course you realize that this girl will not be there. BIC

Miguel Angel Jimenez - Pre Game Workout

Now this is a guy that Boiler Nation can support! I have a new favorite golfer.

Rangé: Rock Hard Balls

The way I'm hitting it, I am making the swich to Range'

Gallas out to prove everyone wrong

Gallas out to prove everyone wrong

This is a nice article on my nephew Anthony. He is leading the Midwest League in hitting, and generally tearing it up this year in Class A Lake County. He has defied all odds in making it this far,and is really making the most of his opportunity. If you get a chance,try to catch a game at Classic Park in Eastlake. It is a great little park,and the tickets are inexpensive. Check Anthony out before he is promoted to Kinston.

Gator hunter becomes swamp star - WAFB Channel 9, Baton Rouge, LA |

Gator hunter becomes swamp star - WAFB Channel 9, Baton Rouge, LA

Here is a local story about Troy Landry.Troy even has his own website: chootem.com.

SWAMP PEOPLE

I love the show Swamp People on the History Channel. There are a lot of great characters on the show, but Big Troy Landry is my favorite. Troy is a true Cajun, and he is King of the Swamp. The show documents the Louisiana gator season ( I believe it is in September) showing the exploits of some of the best gator hunters in the swamp. They are simple, hard working people, and the thing that strikes me about the characters...especially Troy, is how happy they are. They make a living off the swamp,and find a way to get by.They are not rich, by traditional standards, but they enjoy life to the fullest. I think we can all learn from them...Enjoy every day, if you are going after a "tree shakah" or grinding it out at your job.Be grateful for your family, and the blessings that you have.

TRIM DAT THING UP!!!

Distracted Driver: Police Say Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Her Privates - ABC News

This is some good shit! Wow......You can't make this stuff up!

SEVERIANO BALLESTEROS 1957-2011

A sad day today. After a three year battle with brain cancer, the great Seve Ballesteros has passed away. Seve played the game of golf with a flair and passion that was unsurpassed in the modern era.....He was the the Euro Tour's Arnie. Most inportantly,he was my guy. Rest in peace Seve, you were truly one of a kind.

Useless News Filler

As the dumbing down of America continues, I am going to post a new category of content on this site. It will be called "Useless News Filler" or UNF for short. You have no doubt heard this shit but like me just accept it and go about your business. I believe that the only way to get rid of it is to first point it out and make fun of it and it's providers. For instance, I just listened to the lead news story at the top of the hour on a local AM talk station. The teaser before breaking for commercial was......"What you should do if the grass is too wet to mow, details after these messages!" I have to admit, they hooked me to listen through the commercial. Upon his return to the airwaves, the "news" reporter informed me that if the grass is too wet to mow it is best to wait until the next day as it may be drier. The reporter then had an expert, a garden store employee, confirm that it is best to wait until the grass dries out before mowing. I am making this one of my personal missions to erradicate the world of this garbage. Lastly, I am growing concerned that I am spending far too much time in my car listening to talk radio. Good night now. RB

A Boiler end to a golf hiatus

Boiler Nation was created as a result of relationships begun and strengthened on golf courses and card tables. Specifically, two immature middle-aged knuckleheads decided to create a website to display things we found humorous. In true Boiler fashion, the exact moment that the idea was hatched was at a point in a card game where both the BIC and I were supposed to be paying attention to the game but yet again created a rain delay for our buddies. This has been a common theme as humor has always gotten in the way of our focus on cards and golf.

A couple of years ago, I moved away from the golf lifestyle. I wanted to run some marathons before I got too old and was fortunate to have some minor successes for an old guy. I qualified for Boston, completed a 100 mile race, and lost a shitload of weight. And while at times the pursuit was fun at no time did I find any humor in my endeavors. Nothing funny happened.......ever! On the golf course, I hung out with guys with nicknames. Seve, Bobo, Pie, Fick, Clarkie, Frenchie, The Hawk, Uncle Paulie, Rudy, Pops, Dickhead, Kevo, Scooter, JJ, EB, Tybo, Donnie Baseball, Hus,Kais and Minnie to name just a handful. Each of these guys have provided me with some of the funniest moments of my life. From a sprinkler suddenly pelting Fick in the ass as he addressed his ball to Minnie's new golf cart careening into a pond. There was Bobo drilling me with a shanked bunker shot during an emergency, drunken extra 18 holes and Pie dancing uncontrollably at the prospect of hundreds of dollars trading hands during a 9 man wolf game shortly before a long putt mercifully found the bottom of the cup...... thus pile driving his dreams (and saving me a shitload of money). This is all funny to me.

This kind of funny shit does not happen in my other life and therefore I must go back. Humor is everything. I recently jumped back in with both feet. I joined a club, played a couple of rounds, and doled out copious amounts of cash to my pal Ricky. Two years off has taken it's toll but I will get it back. On a side note, think long and hard Boiler Nation before you embark on a weight loss program as the loss in distance on tee balls can be devastating to your masculinity. One last comment on the Boiler fraternity. I continue to be amazed that no matter where I travel I continue to find buffoons that drink, use tobacco, and gamble. I don't have to seek these kinds of people out.....they find me. Water finds it's own level and thankfully so does buffoonery.

FORCAST: RAIN!

My god! Living in C Town is tough enough.......Does it really have to rain every day too? How about some snow to give us one more kick to the sack!

BIG SHAQ

This pic was posted by The Onion. A brilliant photo shop that is funny as hell. Perhaps Shaq was working on his boiler while he was chillin on the bench.

THE POLICY

Hello again my boiler brothers! I wanted tell you about something that can literally change your life for the better. I call it "The Policy". When I turned 50, I decided that it was time to set things straight. I announced to my beautiful family that going forward, I would no longer be attending gatherings or functions that I really did not want to attend. You know what I am talking about..........Those marginal events that you feel pressured to attend, because if you don't, somebody will be offended. Well you know what? I don't care any more! Now,to be sure, if you chose to invoke The Policy, you also must accept it when you host a gathering, somebody does not show up, because they did not feel like coming. Live The Policy.......Accept The Policy. It will set you free! Of course, The Policy could earn you a registered letter from your wife's attorney.

A MASTER DISAPPOINTMENT

The following is a post Masters rant from our good friend Danny N:

Good morning Steve,

I know you didn't want Tiger to win,but I hope you were not rooting for Charl(es).

I have an idea that would change the Masters.

If a player happens to hole out shots from his ass,and then birdies 4 coming in,because he does not feel Masters pressure, which he should feel if he really cared about winning the Masters, then that player must validate his win.

If he fails to win anything decent in the next few years, he loses his Green Jacket, and his shared locker with San Sneed. ( I know you are thinking that Sam Sneed is dead. Well he is NOT! Augusta National does not want him on the grounds anymore, so he signs autographs across the street at the local Harris Teeter,for free dog food for his hounds).

This VALIDATION would be retroactive. The following players are no longer considered Masters Champions:

Larry Mize. He only won an Aureus shirt contract after that.

Tommy Aaron. Hank's brother is out!

Mike Weir.Canadians should not be invited any way.

Trevor Immleman. He scored a Transitions Eyewear commercial with Joe Paterno

Zach Johnson. For obvious reasons.

Gay Brewer. He did validate,his first name is GAY.....So he is out!

Thanks for letting me vent, Dan.

Some nice vitriol. Well done sir!

The Major Difference Between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson - John Feinstein - Golf News & Articles | Golf Channel

The Major Difference Between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson - John Feinstein - Golf News & Articles Golf Channel This is an excellent article. I can root for Mickelson. Tiger? Ahh.....Not so much.

THE MASTERS

Hello again my Boiler Brothers! Yes,it is almost here.....My favorite week of the year: Masters Week! The Masters is my favorite golf tournament, for many reasons. To me, it signifies so many positive things: The end of winter,the beginning of golf & baseball season,final four weekend. I love the Masters because of the history and tradition, and the fact that it is played on the same course every year. You even know where the pins will be on Sunday. To me, the Green Jacket is the coolest tradition in golf. Yes, it is a great time of year. Enjoy it! It's good to be alive!

MARCH MADNESS!

Hello again Boilermen! It's a great time of year.....The men's NCAA Basketball tournament is underway, The Masters is a few weeks away,and most importantly,Winter is just about over! Thank God! I have been watching the NCAA tournament, and it is clear that college basketball is SO much better than the NBA. Why is that? I think is because of how the referees call the games. The refs call it straight in the college game. In the NBA, most of the time, calls are dictated by who you are. Also, the college kids give much better effort....Especially in the tournament. Enjoy the Sweet 16........And GO BUCKEYES!

Breitbart.tv » Andrew Klavan: Your Public Sector Unions at Work

Breitbart.tv » Andrew Klavan: Your Public Sector Unions at Work

Our goal was not to make this site politically oriented.......But this was too good not to share.

Mayan Rules

Hello again my boiler brothers! Good to be back. Our friend Uncle Markie was good enough to wear his Bronze Boiler gear on his recent visit to the Mayan Ruins. According to the Mayan calendar,the world will end on December 21,2012. Assuming this is accurate information, I am thinking of retiring at the end of 2011. 2012 will be the "Year of the Boiler",where I do what ever I want,when ever I want, for as long as I want. I plan on living a Charlie Sheen lifestyle, blowing through all my money,and having a hell of a good time! If the Myans are wrong,I can always go back to work. Thanks, Markie

Study: Staring at breasts increases heart health

Study: Staring at breasts increases heart health

Here you go.....Solid scientific evidence proving that it is healthy to stare at a woman's breasts.
The next time your wife busts you for your slack jawed staring, tell her you are in therapy!

Farewell, Uncle Leo: 'Seinfeld' Actor Len Lesser Dies

Farewell, Uncle Leo: 'Seinfeld' Actor Len Lesser Dies

Sad news today. Uncle Leo passed away. What a great character......What a great show! Rest in peace Uncle Leo.

Cabin Fever

What's up boilers! The weather is finally starting to break in C Town. It may hit 60 tomorrow. Maybe Buckeye Chuck was right. Bottom line is I am sick of winter,and am ready to play some golf. I really miss smoking a good cigar,and being out on the links. We are planning to bring you some new Bronze Boiler gear in the the next month or so.Hang in there, and stay positive.Here we go!

Dress for Success!

I am watching the Pebble Beach Pro Am. I like how the amateurs show up in their finest golf apparel......I would surely do the same. It reminded me of some good golf advice I once received:

DRESS IN THE 60's

TALK SMACK IN THE 70's

SHOOT IN THE 80's

DRINK IN THE 90's

Golf season is right around the corner!

John Daly

Hello again my boiler brothers. Just wanted to comment on my man John Daly. After watching him play a few tournaments this year, I have come to one conclusion: He was a better player, and much happier, when he had a boiler! The same thing happened to Craig Stadler and David Duval, for that matter. Don't fight the boiler.....It is a source of power and prestige! I am calling off my diet! Here we go!

SUPER BOWL RECAP

Hello again fans! I must admit,I am feelin pretty good today. I nailed my Super Bowl prediction,and made a nice "profit" on the game. Even better, the Packer's win denied the hated Steelers their seventh Vince Lombardi trophy. As they say in boxing, styles make fights. This was a bad match up for Pittsburgh. Baltimore and the Jets both play the same style of football that the Steelers have mastered....Mainly, run the ball, stop the run and attack the quarterback.

It is very hard to beat the Steelers at their own game. The Steelers struggle against teams that are able to spread them out, and and attack them with four and five receiver sets. This year,New England and New Orleans were able to accomplish this with relative ease. Of course,the key to this strategy is having an accurate QB who gets the ball out quickly (Brady/Brees). Aaron Rodgers was playing lights out going in, and if not for numerous dropped balls, would have thrown for close to 400 yards! As it was, he still had a phenomenal game,and was the MVP. As a Browns fan, I am encouraged that Mike Holmgren understands this, and will implement the West Coast offense. You can't out Steeler the Steelers! Here we Go Brownies! Here we Go!

SUPER BOWL ANALYSIS

I am picking the Packers based on some late breaking information..........And a gut feeling.

PROPAPALOOZA!!!!!

Hello Boiler Fans! The Super Bowl is rapidly approaching, so I wanted to share my prop bets with you. Here is a summary of my prop action:

A Rodgers Pass Completions: Over 23.5

James Starks Rush Attempts: Under 15.5

J Starks Longest Rush: Under 13.5

JKuhn Rushing Yards: Over 5.5 Receiving Yards: Over7.5

Greg Jennings Receptions: Over 5

D Driver Receptions: Over 4 Longest Reception:Over 16.5

James Jones Receptions:Over 2.5 Receiving Yards: Over 42.5 Longest Reception: Over 14.5

Jordy Nelson Receptions:Over 3 Receiving Yards: Over 41.5 Longest Reception: Over 15.5

Big Ben: Passing Yards: Under 245.5 Rushing Yards: Over 10.5

R Mendenhall Rushing Yards: Over 78.5

H Ward Receptions: Over 3 Receiving Yards: Under 45.5

E Sanders Receptions: Over 2.5 Receiving Yards: Under 38.5

H Miller Receptions: Over 3

I also am on Green Bay -2.5. Final Score: Green Bay 34 Pittsburgh 24

Have fun, and enjoy the game.

Tiger's act has jumped the shark

Watching Eldrick's interview after he blew up on Sunday has officially made me a Tiger hater. When asked what his schedule looked like for the rest of the year he sarcastically remarked that he would be playing in the future. No shit! I am starting to think that this guy doesn't get it, or more likely his people are giving him shitty advice. Had he enlisted the services of the Boiler Management Group (heretofore referred to as BMG) we would have advised him to say the following:

1. My game really got away from me this weekend.
2. After all the damage I have done to those around me I am very thankful to still be out here trying to put it back together.
3. It is going to take some time but I am confident that if I focus on my game I can be the player that I was.
4. Thanks to Farmers for putting on a great tournament and for contributing big coin to the local charities.

Put some balls in the fairway, make some putts and and act like you actually give a shit about the other people in your industry that are putting your sorry ass on a pedastal and maybe you can get back to half of where you were.

Pro Bowl

Hello again boiler fans! I am watching the 2011 Pro Bowl and was compelled to post my opinion. This game is pure bullshit! I don't know why they have it. There is no blitzing allowed, and all of the players are just going through the motions, trying not to get hurt. Mix in Terry Bradshaw on the broadcast, and you have a totally unwatchable product. If you can't bet on it, it's not worth playing it! If you do bet it.....Well you have a serious gambling problem my friend. The Super Bowl is a week away...And then football won't be back until late summer.Oh the humanity!

Hey BIC....I would like to see the Boiler Man in a lapel pin so when I am out on the town and wearing a sport coat, maybe enjoying and adult beverage or smoking a cigar, I can still properly represent the Boiler lifestyle...I think this would be an excellent conversation piece ( especially with the ladies(not for me of course...) and also could be worn on other clothing like a winter coat etc....the lifestyle needs more ways of expression...Just my two cents...

Sonty

SUPER BOWL!

Well fans, we are down to the final two.....Packers v Steelers. I am surprised that the early line is Green Bay -2.5, with the over/under at 45 +/-. I would have the game as a pick, if I were setting the line. Neither championship game was particularly exciting, although I think it will be interesting to see if Jay Cutler's image can be rehabilitated before next year. That whole deal just did not look right to me. Perception is everything,and that was some bad body language.

As for the Super Bowl, it is well documented that I hate the Steelers more than anything that I know. I have devised a devious plan to deal with the fact that this is Pittsburgh's 3rd Super Bowl in the past 6 years. This year, I will be rooting for the dreaded Steelers! Being a life long Browns fan, everything I root for eventually turns to shit...so why not turn that stench in the direction of the Steelers? Big Ben? Deviant? Hell no, he is a playmaker! Heinz Ward? Cheap shot artist? No, just a tough gritty player! James Harrison? Criminal, head hunter? You wish he was on your team! So there you go! Go Steelers! Fear the Towel!

Vegas Baby!

Some more interesting reading complements of our friend Mr. C. http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2011/01/21/2011-01-21_college_student_files_suit_for_18m_after_he_says_las_vegas_hooker_didnt_spend_en.html

I miss beer and golf

NFL Playoffs

Well, we are down to the final four: NY Jets v Pittsburgh and Green Bay v Chicago. I am not sure what the lines are yet, as I am posting this on 1/16, but I like Green Bay, and I will be rooting like hell for the Jets! As a Browns fan, I don't know of anything I loathe more than the Steelers, and once again, things seem to be breaking their way. I am hoping that the Jets can pull off the upset......They did beat Pittsburgh during the regular season. I was searching for a photo that would accurately portray Steeler Fan, and I stumbled upon this :http://forums.undergroundhiphop.com/printpost.asp?Forum=GenDiscussion&QuestionID=2375707

And this blast of pure hatred:http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2011/01/haters-guide-to-the-postseason-pittsburgh-steelers-afc-2nd-seed.html

WOW! What an unfiltered blast of hate! Well done sir!!

Alan King Survived By His Wife

This was sent to me by a distinguished older gentleman. It is old school Vegas,but it definitely passes the test of time.

Drunk Fail

Why, at 46 years of age, do I still find this stuff piss my pants funny? This video brings back many great memories of the freinds who have inspired the creation of Boiler Nation. Thanks guys!

DIET UPDATE

Allright! We are one week in to my annual BRP (Boiler Reduction Program). So far I am down 7lbs......23 to go! I strongly recommend Nutrisystem, it is easy to do, and it really works. Don't worry fans, there will still be a boiler remaining when I am done. The picture is included for illustrative purposes only. I'm not sure who this fine gentleman is, but that shirt is pretty damn funny.

BCS Championship

Well fans, the bowl season is over. I thought the Auburn/Oregon championship game was entertaining,even with the mistakes and penalties. No matter how fast and slick Oregon's offense is, it still has no answer for a swift punch to the mouth. Ohio State delivered that punch last year in the Rose Bowl, and Auburn delivered it this year. Good physical football will beat flash and dash on most occasions. On the gambling front, the game went off as a pick, with the over/under an absurd 72! After a late consultation with my brother Gregg,I got down on Auburn just before kickoff, and was able to deliver a long overdue punch to my man Al's boiler. As for my underdog bowl betting strategy, the chalk went 18-15-2 against the spread this bowl season. Oh well, we will try that "system play" again next year. War Eagle!

Male Baldness: Possible Cure Found for Men's Hair Loss, Experts Claim - National News - AllMediaNY

Male Baldness: Possible Cure Found for Men's Hair Loss, Experts Claim - National News - AllMediaNY

There is hope for us domers! By the time I am in the nursing home, I will have a luxurious head of hair!

Lance Guidry Godaddy.com Bowl pregame speech

Something to pump you up. This is why football is great! Let's go get our damn trophy!

Ohio State shows Big Ten can rivals SEC's teams and its ethics - Andy Staples - SI.com

Ohio State shows Big Ten can rivals SEC's teams and its ethics - Andy Staples - SI.com

This pretty much sums up the Sugar Bowl.What Andy Staples does not mention is the fact the the Sugar Bowl officials put some serious heat on OSU and the NCAA to let the "Tat Five" play. It's all about the money.......Why try to BS around it. That is why we have the shitty BCS system, and why Cam Newton is playing in the BCS title game.

Boiler Revenge........a classic from KV!

Holiday Reflections

Hello fellow boilermen. Just back from an extended stay in beautiful North Carolina. We go down there every Christmas to spend time with my wife's family. Unlike a lot of guys, I like her family very much. My mother in law is 92, and still lives at home. As you can imagine, we spend every night at her house. This is ok, except for a few problems: 1). She has 3 channels on her cable. 2). She obviously has no WiFi. So, while there sweet bowl/gambling action flying all around me, I am playing Gin Rummy with my mother in law in an informational black hole! It's good to be back home. Action.....Sweet Action!